Princess Pim’s Back-to-Front Birthday

Princess Pim stood on her chair and counted her birthday guests. A duke. A duchess. A goose in a hat. Lots and lots of cousins. One, two, three, all the way up to twelve.

That was the twelfth time she had counted them. There were still twelve.

“Good,” said Pim. Twelve presents sat by her plate. She had wrapped every one herself, with far too much string.

Pim lived in Topsy Castle, on top of a striped hill, where everything went back to front. Everybody ate pudding first and soup last. Princesses wore their crowns on their left foot. The King’s crown was far too heavy for a foot, so he kept it in a cupboard and padded about in two fluffy blue slippers. Everybody said “good morning” at bedtime. And on a birthday, the birthday girl did not get presents. She gave them.

So Pim gave them, one to every guest. There was so much string that the goose was still unwinding when the pudding came in.

The pudding was pink and wobbly, and of course it came first.

“That’s the rule in Topsy Castle!” said Pim, and everybody ate it all up.

Then the King came hopping round the table. He was Pim’s father, and he only had one slipper on.

“Has anybody seen my left slipper?” said the King. Hop, hop, hop. “My toes are cold.”

Nobody had seen it.

* * *

Then something went whoosh at the window, and in flew Puff.

Puff was the post-dragon. He was no bigger than a teapot, and the friendliest dragon in the kingdom. He carried the letters in his mouth, so every letter arrived warm and a little bit toasted at the corners.

“Goodbye!” said Puff, landing on the table.

“That’s the rule in Topsy Castle!” said the King. Hop, hop.

Puff dropped a pile of birthday letters by Pim’s plate. Pim sniffed one. It smelled of toast.

Then she looked at Puff, sitting by the salt with his tail curled round it. She counted.

Thirteen.

“Oh, Puff,” said Pim. “You’re a guest too. And I haven’t got a present for you!”

“That doesn’t matter,” said Puff.

But it mattered to Pim. Every single guest should have something.

She looked under the table. There was a crumb, a button and one fluffy blue slipper.

“No presents,” said Pim.

She looked in the pudding bowl. The pudding had been eaten first, so there was only a spoon.

She looked in the soup pot. The soup was for last, so the pot was full to the top.

“No presents,” said Pim.

Then she looked down at her left foot. There sat her own little gold crown.

Pim took it off and held it out to Puff.

“Thank you!” said Pim.

“You’re welcome!” said Puff, and his eyes went very round.

“That’s the rule in Topsy Castle!” said the goose.

Puff carried the crown in his mouth like a letter, and soon it was warm all over. Then the King hopped past. Hop, hop, hop.

Puff thought about the King’s cold toes. He flew down and popped the warm crown on the King’s left foot. It fitted over his toes like a slipper.

“Oh!” said the King. “Warm as toast!” And he stopped hopping and did a little dance.

Then the Cook came in with a tiny ball of pastry.

“I have enough pastry for one small pie,” said the Cook. “But all my pie tins are too big.”

The King looked at the crown on his toes. It was round. It was deep. It was exactly the right shape for one small pie.

So he took it off and gave it to the Cook. Then he went back to hopping, and he did not mind one bit.

* * *

The Cook filled the crown with pastry and plum jam, and baked it until it was golden.

Then the pie went round the table. The duke took one tiny bite and passed it on. The duchess took one tiny bite and passed it on. The goose took one tiny bite. Every cousin took one tiny bite. Puff took one, and the King took one between hops.

At last the pie came to Pim. There was one bite left.

“The birthday girl always eats last,” said the duchess.

“That’s the rule in Topsy Castle!” said everybody.

Pim ate the last bite. And underneath was her crown, warm and shiny, with a little bit of pie crust on every gold point.

“My crown!” said Pim. “It came back!”

She put it on her left foot, where it belonged.

Then Pim remembered something. She dived under the table and came out with the fluffy blue slipper.

“Here, Father,” said Pim. “I found it when I was looking for presents. I forgot it was yours!”

The King put on his slipper and wiggled his toes. Then he gave Pim an enormous hug.

After that everybody ate their soup, because it was nearly bedtime, and soup came last.

* * *

At the castle door, all the guests waved.

“Good morning, Pim!” said the duke and the duchess and the goose and every cousin.

“Hello!” said Puff, and off he flew down the striped hill, full of pie.

The King carried Pim up to bed. He tucked her in and turned the lamp down low.

Pim wiggled her left foot under the covers. Her crown was there, still a little bit warm, with one crumb of pie on it. Every single guest had been given something, even Puff.

The King kissed her on the nose. “Good morning, Pim,” he said.

“Good morning,” said Pim. “That’s the rule in Topsy Castle.”

Then she shut her eyes, with her crown on her foot and her toes all warm, and she fell fast asleep.